dreamy versus deluded

One thing was going on in my mind the last days. I guess it was just one situation that made me start thinking about this. I was disappointed by an outcome, and it’s irrelevant what exactly happened. Retrospectively, I noticed how humans fall in love with ideas instead of the actual thing. We create an illusion and absolutely love it. We build a whole sphere, step by step, and dive deeper into it every time we think about it. We see so much beauty in an empty shell. Imagination fools us in a trappy way. We believe in an illusion – until we’re confronted with the naked truth… which is not that satisfying most of the time. Simply because it’s not what we expected. My roommate gave me a hint in that direction. He said, I wouldn’t actually like the situation, I would just keep telling myself that I do. I would just like the idea of how it could be, or how it could have been. Admitting that it just makes me sad instead of happy was the first step. Deep inside me, if I would have listened to myself, I already noticed how I actually didn’t like the whole situation. Sometimes we need to hear someone saying that to realize a lot.

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Before it gets confusing, let me put it in different words. Looking at it in the context of fate, we shouldn’t have to force what is meant to be. We dream about certain things, and that’s ok, but why are we so disappointed when it doesn’t work that way? Dreams, ideas, and illusions can give us strength, but at the same time they can let us fall. If we have to put so much effort into something that we eventually suffer from it, it’s not how it’s supposed to be, right?

We fall in love with the idea of a person. We fall in love with the idea of going on a vacation, a journey, traveling. We fall in love with the idea of an outcome of a decision. We pretty much fall in love with the idea of every future event. It’s like we experienced it, before we allow it to take place. Before things happen, they already happened in our mind. Maybe it’s another description of hope. But the problem is that you will never get what you imagined. You won’t get that perfect person, the unbelievable journey without challenging days or the outcome of a decision you’ve had in your mind. You will always get something different. Always. If we notice something is not how we imagined it, we start to ignore it until it’s vast. Until we confess the truth to ourselves. And now that we technically are adults, we should have learned that – shouldn’t we? Why is it so damn hard to stop thinking about what could happen in a day, a month, a year? Why are we obsessed with the thought of what will happen? We like to change uncertainty. We construct a frame of thoughts with an unsteady base.

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You know what? I’m so tired of it. I just stopped. Well, I’m trying to stop. We are smart beings. Deep inside of us we know if something is actually going to work or not. It’s also called gut feeling or intuition. Heard of that before? Sure, you did, but we like to ignore it because we’re stubborn and self-willed. We know this person is making us more unhappy than happy. We know this journey won’t only bring good things and won’t happen as we imagine it. We just know! Realizing that makes us grow, and I believe we become a better version of ourselves. We feel disconnected and not fulfilled at all. But we don’t listen to ourselves and keep on building the idea in our head, like a big cloud, which actually blurs our sight. It makes us dizzy, almost drunk.

Not to forget that dreaming is a beautiful thing. We are dreamers and I’d definitely consider myself a daydreamer. Sometimes my thoughts are drifting off and space out, that I don’t even realize what is happening around me. It can be wonderful to step into another world that no one else can touch. Your thoughts and dreams belong only to yourself, unless you want to share them with someone. But we don’t own the ideas we fall in love with. They start possessing us, in an unhealthy way. I’m not saying stop dreaming about what could happen – it’s also a thrill of anticipation. But we should eat humble pie. Don’t tell the story in an unrealistic way before it even happened. Because you know what’s realistic, and what is not. It will make you gloomy. I believe our thoughts and mindset can change anything. I know there are people who have different opinions on this topic, but this is my opinion. Listen to your inner voice – in my experience it’s always right. But remember: There is difference between dreaming of something, and falling in love with an idea instead of the actual thing.

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